Humours

SLN Mailbag 8/24/15

Confused
Dear SLN,

I tried watching the vlog you guys posted titled “4 Essential Hacks for Perfect Fried Chicken Every Time” and I did not find your tips very helpful. The chicken I bought at the store didn’t even have fins, so your instructions on how to disassemble it were virtually useless. Also, no stores near me sell limestone oil. Can you link a reputable internet vendor?

Sincerely,
Hungry in Grand Rapids

Not Funny
Dear smut peddlers,

Your attempts at humor in the article about Thomas Aquinas fell more than flat. How do you sleep at night? I and my sister’s terrier were incensed by the vulgar, juvenile trivialities you consider jokes. You should be flogged in the streets, first literally, then figuratively, then perhaps literally again, weather permitting. I’m sorry if I’m a prude by today’s twisted standards, but I just don’t find humor in acts that, I should remind you, legally constitute sodomy in many jurisdictions, and they certainly aren’t fitting topics for a humor site on the Internet.

With God’s love,
A Concerned Reader

Humor in Uniform
Fair beacon of grace and light,

Please deliver me from these many afflictions. I have sinned, but not too greatly to be delivered from the scourges of uncaring fate. My dreams have dissolved entire into visions of a cruel, ceaseless madness, and they come now likewise in my waking hours. I fear closing my own eyes for the chance that I might see again as I have seen in my darkest imaginings, but more than that, I fear that my new perceptions are truer and clearer than what I thought was real before. If you cannot deliver me a truth that is merciful, then I plead that you might send me a comforting lie.

Humbly,
J. Aglestone, Castle Rock

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