Browse Month by August 2014

Through the Caves of Tedium: A brief look at The Araton Trilogy

“He came across the huge wasteland of the desert in the east, the vastness forbidden to his kind from time immemorial, determined to discover who took away his memory of the past years of his life and to find out who and what he once was. But that mission does not prove easy: the secret of the world in which he so mysteriously found himself got in the way between him and the truth of his past . He did not even know that fixed upon him were the eyes of potentates and that with his very appearance he perturbed the forces that tailored the fate of the world.”

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Patch Notes: v2.

  • FIX: Air no longer casts a shadow in the flashlight beam
  • BALANCE: Loud orchestra hit to signify jump scares now louder, cheaper, more startling
  • GRAPHICS: The spilled organs in the Haunted Daycare Center now glisten realistically.
  • BALANCE: Flood of blood from second floor linen closet in the Haunted Bed & Breakfast is now type B rather than type AB+
  • FIX: Still-beating human heart in the Haunted Condo no longer talks shit about Stan from the QA department, though really fuck that guy, who does he think he is filing all these bug reports

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So You Have Ears: “Womyn” by Heems

So You Have Ears is a tentative series of music posts. The format may vary, but the intent is the same: to expound, in one way or another, on a given musical subject. This short post is about one song, by one artist.

So you liked Das Racist, right? Like, liked them liked them? Not “half-sincerely be fond of them while constantly looking over your shoulder to make sure there’s not some kind of joke that’s on you for actually enjoying it” liked them?

Good. This song is by Heems, one third of the now-defunct Das Racist, whose name was a particular pronunciation of “that’s racist”, not pseudo-German.

(That would be “Die Racist” or “Der Racist”, not withstanding the spelling of the actual German noun “rassist”. I like the first one).

I guess the benefit to enjoying what Das Racist put out is that a) it’s fucking fun to listen to and b) they produce incredibly angry reactions in some people.

That second one is a great way to pass the time at parties where you can’t escape argumentative dickhead sort-of-friends, so you might as well try and gauge what kind of argumentative dickhead they are.

But back to the song: I love this song. The first time I heard it, I couldn’t stand it. What changed my opinion is the vocal that repeats throughout: “LAY-DEEEEES, LUH-LAH-LAY-DEEEEEEEEEEES”. I got it stuck in my head again and again, and began listening to it voluntarily to get it out. The song’s (deliberate) sense of aggressive uncoolness and the narrator’s obliviousness to that fact grew on me.

Wait, wait, Mike says this should be a song about women
But then he said he doesn’t know any women
I told him “Yo, I know like seven women”

This song is a great song to be listening to on headphones while you walk down a street, letting people assume you are listening to a much cooler song that you don’t have to defend with “well, the tackiness is the joke” and “it’s an acquired taste”.

I wake up to this song sometimes. Listening to it when you wake up hung over is a great way to feel like you’re in the opening montage for a ‘terrible people behaving terribly’-style comedy, instead of just being a terrible person.

Video Games

Gen 1 Pokémon and Why Nostalgia’s a Bitch

Don't look so happy, nobody actually uses you for anything

Do you like Pokémon? I like Pokémon. I arguably like Pokémon a little bit too much because I have consistently bought Nintendo’s handhelds for absolutely no other reason than to play Pokémon. I haven’t actually played the most recent generation though – I lacked the money to get a 3DS until just this week so believe me that shit is on the way, only the lack of teleportation in our mail system is stopping me from slacking off on writing this in order to play Gen 6. But for having not played it yet, I’ve heard an awful lot of bitching about silly designs. Which is dumb because you know which generation had a lot of stupid designs? Gen 1.

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