Standards & Practices Edit Summary: John Stalvern’s Mindwarp

For Immediate Filing with WCYL-TV Records Department from Benedict Cloves, Junior Editing Assistant

  1. Blacked out all instances in opening credits sequence of the forbidden incantation. No time difference.
  2. CGI’d one-piece swimsuits onto the bevy of buxom babes in the introductory orgy scene. No time difference.
  3. Trimmed lingering shots of goons choking to death on their own blood during the shootout.  Roughly 90 seconds cut.
  4. Numerous content cuts during the creature sex scenes.  23 minutes cut.  I wish I was dead.
  5. The Optimist’s impalement scene trimmed a bit for gore.  Less than 30 seconds cut.
  6. Trimmed down some of the reaction shots in the public transformation sequence for time, and all cutaways to the masturbating policeman.  Two minutes cut, and a great deal of my innocence lost.
  7. Removed the conversation at the diner about kryptonite bukkake and Supergirl for… I’m gonna put down “time” but really because it was completely extraneous and profoundly disturbing.  17 minutes and my will to live removed.
  8. Removed the after-credits sequence interspecies wedding reception scene, because fuck off, Stalvern.  Fuck off.
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