Top 10 Reasons We Haven't Updated Recently

  1. In bondage to the spider god Asmodeus until the next solstice
  2. Everyone we know, goes away, in the end (what have we become, my sweetest friend)
  3. Attempts to reach computer keyboard resulted in changes in personal gravity, eventually gave up and started reading comic books on the ceiling
  4. Were unprepared for onslaught of high-profile advertisers and celebrity fans and intimidated by the sudden fame
  5. Got distracted watching the uncut region B blu-rays of The Strauss File we just imported
  6. Updating? That sounds suspiciously like effort.
  7. Read too many New 52 comics, went on killing spree, now incarcerated
  8. Suffocated and dragged back to the Village by roaring, undulating white sphere
  9. Took Ambien with alcohol and woke up naked in a convenience store in New Zealand wearing a tour t-shirt for a band that does not exist in this dimension
  10. There was never a web site here, it was all a dream